Sunday, December 23, 2012

Happy Festivus

Happy Festivus!

We, the dogs of Married with Dawgs, would like to take this opportunity to air some grievances:

Sadie's Grievances

Mom & Dad: Diets Suck.  The vet is stupid and she doesn't know what she is talking about.  I have earned my pudge, thank you very much.  Also, the lack of indoor doggie plumbing is practically barbaric.  What? Do you think we are wild animals doing our business in the Great Wet Winter?  Please remedy this situation immediately.

Hurley:  Please stop eating my food and licking my bowl.  Sometimes a girl likes to lick her own bowl, ya know what I mean?  And sometimes I'd like to play tug with Mom too, OK?  That last one goes for you too Maggie.

Maggie's Grievances
Mom:  I would appreciate a little more sympathy for my recent pad injuries.  I have been investing a good amount of my nap time to making sure my paw heals nicely through thousands of tongue licks.  Yes, my tongue has extraordinary healing powers.  Please stop wrapping my paw and laughing at me. 

Dad:  Fetch once a week is six times not enough.

Hurley:  Seriously.  We all like to tug with Mom & Dad.  How 'bout taking turns, an equal number of turns?  It's really the fairest solution.  Also, would it kill you to let me win at tug every once in a while?  It's not befitting a dog of my stature to be dragged around the house like that.

Hurley's Grievances



  1. Hubster: Sadie, Please stop pooping in the hallway. We let you out many times throughout the day and before bed. Stop being a princess, your a pit bull for Christ's sake. Hurley, when your meal is over, it's over. Please stop licking the bowl and pushing it all over the house. Stop destroying everything. Your mom own's a dog boutique. You are so spoiled dude. Chew the right stuff. Maggie, you sure do know how to milk this "injury" eh? You were all, "c'mon dad, throw it, throw it, throw it". Then you see mom and it's all "awwww poor me". Wifey... I got nothin' you're great.

  2. Your grievances are those of dogs everywhere. Let them be resounded loudly.

    On the other hand, human complaints are most trivial.

  3. HA! I love this!
    Tell Sadie in the area we live in, men love a thick woman!
    Tell Maggie that I would baby the crap out of her.
    And tell Hurley I'd let him win. :)

  4. I think our pups would second all of these :) Happy Festivus!

  5. This was so funny! I forgot to air my grievances yesterday, and there were no feats of strength. Ugh. Now I have to wait until next year....

  6. Happy holidays my friends! woo woo woo!

  7. These are valid grievances, if you get nowhere with mom and dad, then perhaps you need to hire a pawtorney, they are well versed in the laws of the land. "-)

    Merry Christmas!!!

  8. I'm glad you brought up the Great Wet Winter, Sadie. Although we don't seem to have that indoor plumbing that our bipeds enjoy, at least the outdoor water faucet way up in the sky has been turned off for a couple of days. I sure hate stepping outside only to get rain dumped on me. Doesn't make for an enjoyable potty break, does it?