We, the dogs of Married with Dawgs, would like to take this opportunity to air some grievances:
Mom & Dad: Diets Suck. The vet is stupid and she doesn't know what she is talking about. I have earned my pudge, thank you very much. Also, the lack of indoor doggie plumbing is practically barbaric. What? Do you think we are wild animals doing our business in the Great Wet Winter? Please remedy this situation immediately.
Hurley: Please stop eating my food and licking my bowl. Sometimes a girl likes to lick her own bowl, ya know what I mean? And sometimes I'd like to play tug with Mom too, OK? That last one goes for you too Maggie.
Mom: I would appreciate a little more sympathy for my recent pad injuries. I have been investing a good amount of my nap time to making sure my paw heals nicely through thousands of tongue licks. Yes, my tongue has extraordinary healing powers. Please stop wrapping my paw and laughing at me.
Dad: Fetch once a week is six times not enough.
Hurley: Seriously. We all like to tug with Mom & Dad. How 'bout taking turns, an equal number of turns? It's really the fairest solution. Also, would it kill you to let me win at tug every once in a while? It's not befitting a dog of my stature to be dragged around the house like that.
MORE NOMS FROM EVERYONE!