Maggie and I took an early walk this morning to get Momma some coffee. I am particularly inept at functioning like a normal human being before I've had my cup of joe and this morning, I was out at home so I dragged my girl and my sleepy eyes a few blocks away to get my fix on.
We turned back on our street and there he was. The Hurley Badger, sniffing some grass a block away. These are literally the thoughts that went through my head, in the order I thought them.
"Shit! Hurley's finally figured out how to open the front door."
"Did he crash through a window? Shit! Is he bleeding? Where's Sadie?"
"Right. The A/C Unit. He's knocked it out of the window again. Sigh. There's no way it's still going to work this time around. The Hubster is going to be so mad."
As I'm thinking these, you may call them, ridiculous thoughts, Hurley has spotted us. Now, Hurley doesn't run gracefully. He gallops like a cross between a horse and a hippo and it happens to be the most adorably awkward thing you would ever see. As soon as he's spotted his prey (us) off he tears towards us. At this point, I can't exactly be mad at him. Not only is he the most adorable horse-hippo-badger you've ever seen, it's also not his fault. What, you say? Of course it's the Badger's fault!
I've gotta blame myself on this one. Hurley hates being left out on walks. He can handle his shit if he's left in the backyard with an antler, downstairs in the basement with toys or gets a walk first and is tired out. I did none of these things. Half awake, I grabbed the dog whose turn it was (Maggie) and trucked it for coffee.
This is also NOT the first time the Badger has had a run in with the A/C Unit. A couple weeks ago, the Hubster gets this call from our neighbor. "Hey man. Your dog pushed the air conditioner out of your window. I think your dogs are running around the neighborhood." Panic attack! Hurley did in fact push the A/C unit to the ground but apparently scared the girls so badly that they raced downstairs, where he joined them. So no dawgs running around the neighborhood. This time.
Today, I did not do any of the things I normally do to make Hurley OK with us taking a walkie without him. I did not put the table & chair in front of the A/C unit to block his access. I did not make sure he had toys in the living room that he could get his crazy dog on with while we were gone. I did none of those things and therefore, I have a badger stalking Maggie and my walk.
We get home and walk in to this:
My 100 lb Hurley Badger did not in fact push the AC Unit out of the window. He broke one accordion side panel and then, when that did not give him enough room to squeeze out, he went to the other side and NUDGED THE ACCORDION PANEL BACK AGAINST THE AC UNIT. AND THEN SQUEEZED OUT THE 6 INCH SPACE.
It really is only a matter of time before he figures out how to break windows & open doors. Sigh.
